Rule # 1 of Pairing

This post goes out to one of the most amazing and incredible and phenomenal and wonderful caring developers that I have worked with in my whole entire life.

I have learned everything I know about problem solving from this guy, had so much confidence instilled into me, and been held and supported and believed in on my way so much with him.

But what is the number one of pairing that he taught me? Always check in with the other developer first. That's right, the great secret of pair-programming isn't some magical technical secret that has laser beams of light flying out of your fingers (when you find out that one please then let me know - I will do too).

But it's kindness and simply caring for the other person.

Checking in with them and making sure they are alright. Checking and making sure they haven't had a terrible day before you dive into the deep dark depths of programming with them.

I know this can be a risky one - we don't want to derail the conversation.

As a neurodivergent person, I know this myself all too well - I constantly toe the line between being polite and not wanting to not make conversation - and spending too long off topic.

Like all neurodivergent people, I am just always trying to get things right and trying not to break the rules.

In the past this has led to maybe chatting too much at the beginning of sessions and going off topic - but this is a misconception that I want to be doing this - I LOVE CODING and I want to be doing it more than anything else in the world. I just care about other people and am polite to them - and I don't want to be the one to move the conversation on - but for the benefit of both of us I will start doing that. Not before however I have checked that my colleague is okay.

Try it out and find it for yourself and see. 

It could be life-changing for you? Who knows.